No time for deep thoughts, so I figured I'd share this with you. Medical insurance always needs explaining. So maybe this will help you if you're having an insurance decision to make.

Q. What does HMO stand for?
A. This is actually a variation of the phrase , "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye.

Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?
A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. The doctors basically fall into two categories: those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and a diploma from a third world country .

Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A. No. Only those you need.

Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.

Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.

Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomachache. What should I do?
A. Poke yourself in the eye.

Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick ?
A. You really shouldn't do that.

Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his/her office?
A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $20 co-payment, there's no harm in giving it a shot.

Q. Will health care be different in the next decade ?
A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.

To Your Good Health (because as you'll see, you'll need it!)

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION with Dr. Kenmiester:

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good !

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING !!! ... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO-O-O! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!!"

Hello again. I'm sure you wondered where I've been. I've been kinda under the weather. No symptoms to really name. Just one of those yucky days where you don't feel good, but don't have any reason to point to for the reason.

I'm really glad it's Friday. I've been dragging myself into work each day. I get there, I get re-energized, I give my all, then I come home and crash. Today? I almost called in sick. But then I knew I still had that crazy suspense with the Schedule 75 and that knocked all those thoughts out of my head. How can I call in sick when I need to go through all those projects so they'll have an excellent chance at receiving funding?

I'm sitting here tonight watching Dancing with the Stars. Here I sit - my back killing me, my shoulders tense, my hips aching. I watch, and I envy them. I want to be out there dancing. I want to put on heels, shake my hips, glide across the floor, get flung on someone's shoulders . But gracious, my muscles go into spasms just watching it on TV.

You know - I had so looked forward to having a blog. But this doesn't feel natural to me. I feel like I'm writing to an audience that consists of thousands of people. But I'm not. I'm writing this just so I can have a 'diary' of sorts for this failing memory of mine, and also so I can have something for my family members to read and stay in touch with me without actually reaching out and touching me. Know what I mean? I wonder when it's going to feel 'natural'?

I'm hoping to get back in here over this long holiday weekend. I've avoided talking about the job opportunity in Mannheim. I keep thinking I'll jinx myself if I start talking about it. I've told one co-worker, one of my daughters, and I've told the hubby back in the U.S. And even with just those three being told, I still feel like I've jinxed myself. I don't want to get my hopes up, because so many things can happen that can prevent my getting the job. No matter how badly I want it, wanting it won't make it happen.

Maybe I'll get to feeling better over the weekend. I need to get the house cleaned. I mean, man, that should be a first. Because the house is absolutely, positively filthy. I don't think I've let my house get this bad in years. But by the time I've put in my time each day (usually 12 hours a day), I barely have enough energy to eat cheese and crackers for dinner, grab a shower and hit the bed. Then I have trouble sleeping. My mind doesn't want to shut down. Why, oh why, can't I get to sleep???? I get up the next morning, and I'm exhausted.

Maybe I can get some sleep tonight. Then I'll get up feeling refreshed tomorrow morning. I can get the house cleaned (is there a way to cram a months worth of cleaning into one day??)

We'll see what happens. I'll try to post something tomorrow night and hopefully I'll have news that at least SOMETHING got cleaned in the house. I'm just soooo going to love doing the cleaning.

I am my mother. Last night, I reacted to a situation just as she would have. So much is happening to the family back home. Mom has been bedridden since I came over here in 2001. Dad was taking care of her as best he knew how. Then he got sick and now is on oxygen confined to the house. Twin #1 told me Thursday night (17 May) that the OB/GYN says she needs to have surgery. She has a pre-cancerous condition that needs to be corrected right away. Twin #2 (Lacey's Mom) has lost her job. And Lacey. Well, poor Lacey seems to have more medical issues than she should have. Her Mom had to take her to the Emergency Room earlier in the week (I think I posted something here about that), and the hospital sent the results back to Lacey's doctor. Seems as though Lacey has pneumonia. After I talekd to Mom and Dad last night, I gave Twin #2 a call to ask about Lacey. The conversation was okay for a couple of minutes, and then I found out they had a new dog. A new dog that Lacey, with all her allergies, could very well be allergic to. I didn't react well to the news that they had a dog. A dog that was living in MY house. It's not enough that I'm providing a place for them to live. Free of charge. That wasn't my intention. But it sure seems to have ended up that way. So now they have a dog. Why am I upset?

1. Lacey has so many allergies. She needs to be kept away from anything that can trigger problems. Her Mom's statement, "Well, now we'll find out if she's allergic to dogs" wasn't funny to me.

2. It is MY house. Nobody asked me for permission to have an animal live in MY house. Daddy had started hauling in dirt to see if he could fill in all the holes from Twin #1 and her boyfriend's dogs. The back yard was destroyed, the back door was scratched and filthy from the dirty paws scratching to come inside.

3. This dog is probably going to teeth on all the furniture. And pee and poop on the floors. Need I say more?

4. Mommy has no job. No income. Now they have another mouth to feed.

5. Vet bills. Or should I say Vet BILLS (with capital letters).

I reacted just like Mom. So I AM MY MOTHER. And do you know what? I could care less.

I stand behind everything I said and how I feel. I'm upset. I feel like I've been taken advantage of.

Why do I always let people take advantage of me? Why? Why?


Funny thing about it is - I don't think either one of my daughters would let people take advantage of them the way that I do. Why can't I get a backbone? Why can't I stand up for myself? This just ticks me off so much!!!

Why is it that every time I think I'm ready to head back home things like this happen? Sometimes I think being over here is the only thing that keeps me from going absolutely positively bonkers. I love my family. I really do. But damn, they can drive me crazy!!!!

Happy Mothers Day!

So many things change as our children get older. I remember how Christmas was different after the girls got old enough to quit believing in Santa Claus. And they didn't want the tacky decorations in the yard - you know, Santa in his sleigh pulled by the reindeer, the lighted Snowman and lightpost. All those decorations that smaller children ooohhhh and aaaahhhhh over. I was heartbroken when they didn't want those oh-so-wonderful things, and they didn't even care if I put up a Christmas tree any more. Sure, sure. I always complained about the work involved in getting the crap out of the attic and getting it all set up. But hey, I missed it. I relished the idea that I didn't have to go through all that work, but I missed it. I really did.

I know you're wondering where I'm going with this. It's Mother's Day and I'm talking about Christmas. What I'm getting at - I loved Mother's Day when my children were small. They would have all these handmade items the teachers had them make. Little jars from baby food that were filled with colored sand. Necklaces made with uncooked noodles. Outlines of their hands. Handwritten cards with all those mis-spelled words and letters written backwards. Now THAT is what a wonderful Mother's Day gift is. I miss those days. Every day was full of wonderful discoveries - not only for the girls, but for me too. If only I could recapture those moments. I would embrace them to my heart and burn each one in my mind. Oh, the delight in a child's eyes, the exuberation and excitement, the energy. Those wonderful giggles. How I miss those days. I can hardly wait to start sharing quality time with that little Angel granddaughter of mine. Lacey - grandmama is going to enjoy every single moment with you. We're gonna have so much fun, Angel. Always remember, grandmama loves you.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I know you wish I were there in Georgia with you, and you try to put on a brave face about my being in Germany, but this is really best for now. At the most, it will be three more years until I'm home. Then we'll be celebrating every single day. I'll be retired and we can do whatever you want. Each. And. Every. Day. Me. You. And Lacey. What a wonderful life.

I thought I would be so totally cool with writing my thoughts in a blog. But damn, this is hard to do. I get such pleasure reading other people's blogs and have always thought it would be so nice to have a place to write down my feelings. But now that I have finally got a blog (thank you my sweet daughter for setting this up). , I find it difficult to write anything. I had thought I'd be out here writing things down non-stop. Why aren't I???? It's not like anybody will be out here reading this stuff. This will just be my memories so years down the road I'll have something to remind me of these years, as well as years past. My memory is so sucky - I NEED this blog.

I love Barbra Streisand's song 'The Way We Were'. Here are the lyrics.

Barbra Streisand - The Way We Were

Mem'ries,
Light the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures,
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were
Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we? Could we?
Mem'ries, may be beautiful and yet
What's too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So it's the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember...
The way we were...
The way we were...

There is a time in your life when you think things are going well, and a time when you think they aren't. But one thing you can always count on. God is always there with you. You may not understand why things are happening to you. And you may not like what those things are. I think God has a great sense of humor. And I try not to dwell on why things happen and other things don't happen. Kinda like that song Vince Gill sings, "Some of God's Greatest Gifts Are Unanswered Prayers." I think back on some of the things I've wished for and prayed about that didn't happen. And I do believe that song is right. Some of God's greatest gifts ARE answered prayers.

I'm going to start finding time to write more in this blog, and I'm going to write about things that have happened in my life. With my fading mind, this is the only way I'll retain some of my life happenings. I want to talk about Lacey's appearance in our lives, Lacey's open heart surgery at such a young age, and tales of Lacey's antics as portrayed by my Mom and Dad. I want to talk about my two wonderful children - both beautiful gifts from God. Where have the last thirty years gone? They have grown up too, too fast. I want to put memories of Mom and Dad down on paper. Not only for me, but for Lacey also. I want to get some videos made of Mom and Dad with Lacey so she can know how proud they are of her. And how very, very, VERY loved she is. I want to post info about my decision to leave home (at the ripe old age of 46 years 11 months) to work in Germany. And Kosovo. And Bosnia. And Bulgaria. Who knew I would ever do something like this? ME???? I had only flown about three times in my entire life up until that point. And I had to get an expedited passport for the trip over here. But I've never looked back. I've never regretted it. I've never felt homesick. Sure, I've missed my family (immensely), but homesick? No.

So this is my promise to myself. I will start writing about different things that have happened in my life. They may not be in any particular order, but they'll be captured in this blog. And hopefully, I can find enough to put here that when I share this with family members, we can sit around the table, share a meal, laugh and reminisce about all the stupid things I've written about all of us.

That being said - I'm off to fix dinner. I'll figure out what my next step will be, and I might just sign on later on tonight and add more to this blog. After all, it's mine, right? I can do whatever I want to do.